Never Let Go
by Meg0613
Summary: Set at the start of season 19, set in the same timeline as my stories An Unusual Courtship and No More Secrets (but can be read alone). Olivia and Rafael have been in a relationship for about eight to nine months now. Brian has returned to New York and is determined to get Liv back, no matter what it takes. Future chapters will be a little darker than my usual work.
1. Chapter 1

Never Let Go

 _Set at the start of season 19, set in the same timeline as my stories An Unusual Courtship and No More Secrets (but can be read alone). Olivia and Rafael have been in a relationship for about eight to nine months now. Brian has returned to New York and is determined to get Liv back, no matter what it takes. Future chapters will be a little darker than my usual work._

"Noah hurry up you're going to be late for school and I need to get to court." Rafael called down the hall where the five year old was finishing getting ready.

"I'm ready Rafi." He came out in hall with his shoes united and on the wrong feet, "Almost ready Amigo" Rafael told him with a smile as he picked him up and set him on the barstool switching his shoes and quickly tying the laces in double knots. "Now you are ready, grab your backpack, Mommy already put your lunchbox in it."

"Mommy had to work early, will she pick me up?" Noah asked. Liv tried her best to either take or pick Noah up every day.

"She's going to try her best, but if she can't Lucy will." Rafael explained and watched as Noah nodded. "Hey Noah, Mommy told me what you said the other day about wishing Lucy was your Mommy. I don't think you really meant that, did you?"

Noah shook his head, "No, I was mad at Mommy. "

Rafael, "I understand that Noah, sometimes I say things that I don't mean when I get mad too. Even when we don't mean what we say it can still hurt people's feelings. Do you know what we are supposed to do when we do or say something that hurts someone's feelings?"

"Say I'm sorry." Noah answered tentatively.

Rafael smiled and hugged him, "Yes, Amigo when we hurt someone we say we are sorry, and do our best to not do it again."

"Do you ever have to tell Mommy you're sorry Rafi?" Noah asked.

Rafael laughed, "Less often than I use to, but yes and sometimes she even had to tell me she's sorry." He told the boy as he lifted him off the stool. "Come on Noah, we need to go."

The two walked out of Liv's building, Rafael taking Noah's hand as they reached the side walk and turned in the direction of Noah's school. They were lost in conversation about Noah's soccer team and did not notice the car parked slightly down the street nor the man sitting in it watching them.

Brian Cassidy was taking a sip of his coffee and almost dropped it when he saw Rafael Barba emerge from Liv's building a little before eight in the morning, holding hands with who he could only assume was Liv's kid. What the hell was Barba doing at Liv's place at this hour in the morning? And just how close were they that he was taking the kid to school, or daycare, wherever kids his age went. Brian looked down at his watch, it was his first day at the new job and he didn't want to be late. He had pulled the last string that he had to get this job and he couldn't afford to screw it up.

As he settled into his cubical at the DA's office Brian could not get his mind off the sight of Barba coming out of Liv's apartment with the kid. He always thought Barba had a thing for her but could not imagine Liv ever going for him. He wasn't her type, she needed someone tougher, grittier if you will than the well-polished Assistant District Attorney. He had heard through the grapevine that she was briefly involved with Ed Tucker, now Ed was her type, not Barba. No, if anything Barba was probably just following her around like a puppy dog like he had after William Lewis, taking her kid to school was probably just one of his desperate attempts to get closer to her. Well that wasn't going to happen, he was back now and it was only a matter of time until he and Liv were back together.

The next morning he stationed himself outside her building again, a little earlier this time since he had missed her the morning before. He drank his coffee while he waited, trying to erase any evidence that might be lingering of the bottle of whiskey he had finished the previous night. He waited for almost an hour and was about to head to the precinct when he saw the door to her building open. He caught his first glimpse of her black pants and a jacket as usual, with a bright red shirt underneath. She of course had the kid with her but that did not deter him. He was tugging on the door handle when he saw her turn back to the door as the kid made his way back up the stairs. Brian fell back against his seat as he watched what happened next.

Rafael Barba made his way once again out of the building carrying what appeared to be the kid's lunch box. The kid launched himself into Barba's arms who hugged him. Brian watched as Barba pulled back inspecting the boy and took a minute to tie his shoe laces tighter. What happened next though was what really got Brian. He watched as Liv walked towards them both, Barba stood up picking the boy up as he did, he pulled Liv in with his free arm into a group hug of sorts. He watched as Liv pulled back, and Barba set the kid down, Liv straightened Barba's tie before moving her hand to the side of his face and kissing him goodbye. He watched as she took her son's hand again heading off in the same direction he had watched Barba go the day before. He bent down and fiddled with the radio in his car as Barba walked pass him in the direction of One Hogan Place.

When he was sure Barba was past him he sat back up in his seat and slammed his hands against the steering wheel. What the hell was she doing with Rafael Barba? He wasn't nearly man enough for her. It must be about having a family, before they broke up she had asked him about that. Did he want to have a family with her? No, he didn't, he just wanted her, but now if a family was what she had to have for the kid he would make it work. He and Olivia Benson were meant to be together and Rafael Barba was not going to be the one to stop them.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Never Let Go

Chapter Two

Brian did his best to lay low his first few weeks at the District Attorney's office, he did not want Barba or Liv to know that he was back before her was ready. He discreetly asked around about her. Everyone seemed to think she was doing an exceptional job running SVU and that she loved Noah (as he had finally learned the kid's name) more than anything. Nobody mentioned Barba other than the fact that he and Liv still worked well together. That led Brain to the conclusion that they were keeping their relationship a secret.

Brian saw that as his first opening, he would gather the evidence he needed to put an end to their relationship. He knew Liv well enough that she would never choose Barba over her job. Het set about his quest of following them, his years on the force and working undercover taught him how to be discreet. He was surprised how easy it was though. Liv had always been so guarded, especially after William Lewis. Now she moved about with a lightness and her defenses were down in a way he had never seen before.

He watched them come and go on an almost daily basis from her apartment. He decided that Barba was unofficially living there, he still had a condo in his name but Brian only saw him go to it a couple of times over the course of a month and he never spent the night there. He watched them on the weekends as they took Noah to soccer and to the park or different kid friendly places. Those were the hardest pictures to get because people would always notice a man by himself taking pictures of kids so he had to be extra careful.

Their date nights were another story though. It seemed about once a week they would sneak out to a restaurant tucked away somewhere that they would not likely be recognized. Normally when they were out together they still kept a certain level of discretion, on dates nights though in these out of the way places there was no question as to the nature of relationship. They would hold hands, or Barba would keep an arm wrapped around her as they walked, at dinner he could tell his hand was on her leg beneath the table and he would lean over and whisper something. Liv had always shied away from public affection but she would lean into him and welcome his advances. One night he watched as they waited outside of a restaurant for their Uber. Liv leaned into Barba and whispered something causing Barba to pull her flush against himself and kiss her. This wasn't one their quick good bye kisses that he had witnessed before it was a deep passionate kiss that ended with Barba's hand firmly on Liv's ass. It only ended when their car arrived and Liv pulled him hastily inside.

Brian felt an undeniable flash of rage shoot through him, it was time that he put an end to this. This was no way for Liv to be conducting herself, she was a police lieutenant and a mother, not some tramp for Rafael Barba to run around with. He decided the next day he would make his move.

The next day though presented Brian with an opportunity that he had never envisioned when his boss approached him with a new investigation, an investigation in to Olivia Benson on suspicion of child abuse. Brian almost laughed out loud at the accusation, Liv was the last person who would ever hurt a child. His observation of her over the last few weeks showed no signs of anything suspicious, but still this gave him the opening that he needed.

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Rafael opened the door to the quiet apartment, it was past Noah's bedtime and he figured Liv was either working or taking a bath.

"Liv?" He called out setting his briefcase by the door and removed his coat and tie as he made his way towards the bedroom. He found her sitting on the edge of the bed looking shell shocked. He quickly went to her dropping to his knees in front of her and taking her hands.

"Liv, what's going on? Is Noah all right?" He asked,

She looked up at him tears and confusion in her eyes, "Why didn't you tell me that Brain Cassidy was working for the DA's office?" 

A look of complete shock washed over Barba's face, "What are you taking about Liv? I thought Cassidy to early retirement and moved to Florida?"

"Apparently, he got bored and moved back and is now an investigator at your office." She explained.

"Liv, I honestly had no idea." He assured her moving next to her on the bed still confused by why she was so shaken. "I don't understand though, why are you so upset? When did you see him? Did he do something?"

Liv looked up at him tears pooling in hr brown eyes, "I saw him tonight, when he came here to talk to me about in investigation he is conducting."

"He came here? Why not to the office?" Barba questioned all though he had a pretty good idea why a man shows up at his former lover's apartment and he did his best to quiet his own anger.

"Rafael he came here because I am the subject of the investigation." She explained her words becoming choppy with tears, "Your office in investigating me for child abuse."

"What the hell are you talking about Liv?" Rafael yelled then he remembered the bruise, the conversation with the school and it all began to come together.

"Liv, listen to me it's going to be all right, everyone knows you would never hurt Noah. First thing in the morning you are calling Trevor Langan…"He started but Liv cut him off.

"Raf, I don't need a lawyer." She protested.

"The hell you don't." Barba countered, "We aren't going to fight about this Liv, you call Trevor in the morning or I will. "

Liv nodded knowing that it was pointless to argue with him. She leaned against him and allowed him to pull her back on to the pillows and hold her.

"We're going to make it through this Liv I promise." He whispered as he thought to himself about what he would do when he would do when he saw Brian Cassidy.

As it turned out Liv made him promise not to seek Brian out, he fumed and argued but in the end agreed, for the time being. After consulting with Trevor Liv attended the interview with Cynthia from his office. It killed Rafael to send her in there alone but he knew he could not go with her. He was waiting in his office when she finished tears in her eyes, her hands shaking. He ushered into his office telling Carmen to hold his calls. He pulled her into a tight hug as he felt her body began to tremble. After several minutes had passed they sat on his couch. "Can you tell me a about it?" He asked gently.

"It was awful, basically I work too much. I'm not there for Noah, of yes and I have a history of violence for almost killing William Lewis." She explained, "What was really strange was her asking me about Dr. Lindstrom and how long did I see him."

Rafael shook his head, "You should have taken Langan with you that was out of bound," Liv squeezed his hand before standing up.

"I need to get back to the office." She said and Rafael nodded reluctantly letting her go.

"Do you want me to get Noah today? I've got a pretty light schedule." He asked her.

"No, I'll get him, but thanks." Rafael nodded again standing up a pulling her in for another hug.

"I love you Liv, and Noah loves you too and what we have is really good, because of who you are, don't let go of that, all right?" He said tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I love you and I am never letting go of Noah or you." She promised him giving him a quick kiss before leaving the building.

After she was gone he sat back down at his desk but he could not get Liv's words out his head. How did the investigator know so much, especially about Dr. Lindstrom? Suddenly it hit him, "Son of a bitch!" he yelled and picked up the phone on his desk. "Carmen, find Brian Cassidy and get him in here immediately."

Fifteen minutes later Brian Cassidy was walking in to Barba's office.

"Counselor, good to see you again." Brian said as he offered the lawyer his hand with an all too familiar smug smile on his face.

"I can assure you the feeling is not mutual Cassidy, so let's not play games. What do you want?" Barba countered pointing towards as chair for him to sit in as he leaned back against his desk,

"You are the one who summoned me Barba." Brian reminded him

"I mean what the hell do you want with Liv, what are you after by trying to drag her through this?" Barba countered his anger growing.

"Hey, I can't help what comes across my desk, we both know that. " Brian defended himself.

"No, but you can help what extra details you through in like things you know about Liv and William Lewis or Dr. Lindstrom." Barba pointed out.

"I don't know what you mean Barba, I'm simply investigating." Brain told him crossing his arms as he leaned back in the chair.

"That's bullshit Cassidy and we both know it. I am telling you to leave Liv and Noah alone. Your job is done, move on." Barba warned hi leaning closer.

"Or what Barba, what are you going to do? It wouldn't look good for Liv's District Attorney Lover to be interfering with an investigation into her, now would it?" Brian scoffed

Barba's eyes narrowed and he leaned into Brian's personal space, "Excuse me?"

"Don't' play coy counselor you two aren't nearly as discreet as you think you are. All of your little "family outings" or goodbye kisses on the steps in the morning. God, you would think a cop and a DA would try a little bit harder." Brian taunted.

"Have you been following us Cassidy?" Barba challenged him.

"I've simply been conducting my investigation and maybe I turned up your little secret family you've got going. Imagine the look on Jack McCoy's face when I tell him what I have learned." Brian continued until Barba laughed out loud.

"Do you really think Liv and I are stupid enough not to disclose our relationship? Jack McCoy has known since the beginning and so has one PP. We are discreet but we aren't hiding anything. Sorry Cassidy, you are going to have to try harder than baseless accusations on Liv's parenting or our relationship." Barba circled back around his desk as if to dismiss Brian.

"You don't really think she's going to stick with you do you? Liv doesn't stick with anyone, she can't she's too screwed up she was to start with and William Lewis only made it worse. You and I both know she almost murdered the man. You really want to be a part of that? You really think she should be raising a kid?" Brian stood from his chair and began to walk from the office until he felt Barba's hand grab his shoulder and he turned around.

"I swear to God Cassidy if I hear you say anything like that ever again you will wish you had never left Florida." Barba seethed.

"Careful there Counselor, you don't want me to report that Liv's boyfriend is also emotionally unstable now do you?" Cassidy said with a laugh as he turned and walked from the office.

Barba grabbed his coat and stormed from his office telling Carmen he did not know when he would return. He walked the blocks that separated his office from the sixteenth precinct. He was completely unsettled by his conversation with Cassidy and he needed to see Liv. He did not worry that Cassidy could somehow come between them or even hurt their careers. It was something bigger than that something that made him want to keep Brian Cassidy as far away from Liv and Noah as possible.

The squad room was busy when he finally reached it and he spotted Liv in a conversation with Amanda. They made eye contact and he headed for her office. Liv finished her conversation and met him there closing the door behind her.

"What's going on? You look rattled." She asked running her hand briefly on his shoulder.

"I had a long talk with Cassidy." He confessed ready for the fury he was anticipating from her.

"You did what? Raf, we talked about this and you promised me you would stay out of it." She reminded him.

"Well that was a mistake on my part. I figure he had to be the reason that Cynthia knew so much about your past, William Lewis, Dr. LIndstom all of that, Cassidy told her all of it." Rafael explained.

Liv shook her head in confusion, "He wouldn't do that, Raf. I mean yeah he wasn't the most mature or stable guy ever but he wouldn't do that."

"He did it Liv, he all but told me so himself, and that's not all, he knows about us." EH told her taking her hand into his.

"What do you mean? How?" She asked.

"Says it was part of him investigating you that he found out."

Liv shook her head again, "But, we aren't doing anything wrong we have disclosed our relationship to out bosses."

"I know, but I don't like the idea of him poking around in our lives, something is off Liv. I can't explain it." He continued, but was interrupted by a knock on the door, it was Trevor Langan. Liv motioned for him to come in.

"I am sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to tell you in person. I just got off the phone with the Cynthia and you have been cleared of all charges. She says her investigation turned up no evidence other than you are both a dedicated mother and police officer and like everyone else has your hand full. She sends her apologizes." He informed them.

"Sends her apologizes? That's the best she can do?" Rafael snapped drawing a sharp look from Liv.

"Thank you Trevor." She told him and Rafael agreed shaking his hand before he left.

"It's done Liv, it's all over." Rafael told her when Trevor was gone as he pulled her close not caring in the least if her entire squad was watching. If Brian Cassidy knew about them then certainly her team could too. She clearly agreed with him when she placed her lips for a celebratory kiss.

"What do you say we get out of here, go pick up Noah and get some ice cream." He suggested.

Liv glanced at the files on her desk, "Can it wait an hour? That way I won't have to work any tonight."

Rafael raised an eyebrow and smiled, "I like the sound of that. I'll go find a quiet place and get some work done myself." He left her office and sat down at any empty desk in the squad room and opened his briefcase doing his best to ignore the open stares of her team.

"Can I help you all with something?" He asked and they quickly all turned back to their work.

As promised an hour later she emerged from her office and placed he hand on his shoulder and asked loud enough for everyone to hear, "You ready to get our boy and go home?"

He smiled up at her taking her hand as they walked out the door biding everyone a good night. They quickly caught a ride to the school and talked about what they would do once they picked Noah up. The woman at the front desk greeted them nervously when they entered the building and quickly called for the administrator.

"Lieutenant Benson, Mister Barba, Noah isn't here." She told them nervously.

"Did Lucy pick him up already? She must not have gotten my message." Liv said.

"No, it was that other man, the one who had been conducting the investigation, he said that he needed take Noah for an interview, he had a form that looked official." The administrator explained.

If it had not been for Rafael standing behind her holding her shoulders Liv would have probably fallen to the floor as her mind registered what the woman was saying, that Brian Cassidy had just kidnapped her son.


	3. Chapter 3

Never Let Go

Chapter Three

Everything that came next was a blur, like she was watching it happen to someone else, as she had so many times. She heard Rafael call Fin and tell him what happened, there was uniformed officers at the school in a matter of minutes. Rafael's second call was to Jack McCoy who was personally obtaining the warrants that Fin needed.

"I need to go meet them at Brian's apartment." She told Rafael as the reality of the situation became clearer.

"No, Liv, we need to get you back to the squad room and out of the way. You can't be in on this it's your son." Rafael argued in vain.

"Like Hell I'm going back to the office, the bastard has my son. I'm not sitting on the sidelines. Now are you staying here or coming with me?" She asked as she made her way to the car.

Rafael sighed and followed her to the car praying by the time they got to Cassidy's apartment her team would have already found some answers, or better yet have found Noah. He doubted though that Cassidy would have taken him back to his place. All he could think about was how scared Noah must be, and what he was going to do to Brian Cassidy when they caught him.

They pulled up outside of Brian's building which was surrounded by police cars. Olivia spotted Chief Dodds outside the building.

"Are they here?" She asked him running towards the building, Rafael following close behind her. "Did you find anything?"

Dodds shook his head, "They aren't here, and so far nothing we've found helps us know where he might have taken Noah."

"Damn it!" Liv yelled.

Dodds looked uncomfortably between the two of them, "You two need to see what is inside though, but unfortunately it's not going to make any of us feel any better." He cautioned them as he head the way into the apartment. Liv felt the uncomfortable stares around her and as they entered the apartment everyone went silent.

"What the Hell?" Liv asked taking in the sight before her.

"I am going to kill the bastard." Rafael muttered.

Brian's apartment was covered in pictures of three of them. There were pictures of Liv taking Noah to school, Rafael and Noah at soccer practice, the three of them at the market on Saturday morning. Then there were pictures of Liv and Rafael, holding hands on their way into the theater one night, laughing in the rain with Rafael's jacket wrapped around her, and so many more.

"You ok?" Amanda asked quietly.

Liv just shook her head and picked up a stack of pictures knowing immediately when they were taken. She was in a short black dress she had bought because Rafael loved to see her in dresses, he hadn't been able to keep his hands off her all night, and she didn't mind. She remembered thinking that she had waited her entire life to have someone look at her the way that he did and she was never going to let go of him. In the third picture she was whispering something in his ear as they waited for their Uber.

"I was telling him I was ready for him to move in with us, to give up his condo." She told Amanda tracing the picture with her finger, "I wanted the three of us to be a family." She whispered tears beginning to fall.

Amanda took her hands, "You three are a family and we are going to get Noah back Liv."

"He doesn't have his bear Amanda. He finally gave up taking it to school this week, and now he needs it and doesn't have it." Liv thought out loud finally letting out a sob when she felt Rafael's hands on her shoulders.

"We are going to have him home with us by bedtime." He did his best to assure her, "Dodds says we need to get out so that CSU can finish up. "

Liv nodded and followed him out when Carisi came in, "We've got Noah! He's with a uniform officer at the playground near your building."

"My car now." Dodds said to Liv and Rafael who along with Carisi headed straight there.

"Sounds like Cassidy dropped him off a bock before your apartment and Noah went there and found an officer." Carisi explained.

"Just like you taught him to." Rafael did his best to comfort Liv.

"But he's all right?" Liv asked

"I appears so." Carisi told them.

"Any sign of Cassidy?" Rafael wondered.

"No, but don't worry we've got things locked down pretty tight he's not going far." Dodds assured him.

They arrived at the playground, Liv and Rafael barely waiting for the car to stop before getting out.

"He's over here." The officer called out. They spotted Noah sitting with another officer eating some popcorn from the street vendor.

"Noah, are you ok?" Liv asked picking him up and holding him close as Rafael looked him over.

"Yes, Officer Mitchell bought me popcorn while we waited for you." He answered. "Mommy, why didn't the other man take me back to Rafi's office like he said he would? When he left me I found an officer like you told me to."

"You did everything just right, Noah, Mommy and I are so proud of you." Rafael told him taking his turn to hold the boy then he noticed a sadness in the boy's eyes. "Cual es el problema Noah?" he asked him his heart racing at the thought of Cassidy hurting the boy.

"Rafi, I called you my Papi and the other man said that you don't want to be my Papi and that you don't love Mommy like he does. Is that true?" Noah asked.

For the first time Rafael felt his own tears beginning to form, " Noah I love you and your Mommy more than anything in this world and I want nothing more than for the three of us to be a family and to be your Papi forever."

Dodds tentatively approached the family. "Any sight of Cassidy?" Rafael asked him and Dodds shook his head.

"Not yet, but we will find him, don't worry. Right now though we need to get Noah looked over, you know the protocol Olivia." He reminded her gently.

Olivia and Rafael both nodded. "Noah, you and Mommy are going to get to ride in the ambulance so the doctor can check you out, all right?" Rafael explained as he handed him back to Liv.

"Are you coming too Papi?" Noah asked him.

Rafael thought his heart would burst hearing Noah call him Papi for the first time, "Si, Mijo, I will be right behind the ambulance in a car." Not carrying that Liv's entire team, Dodds, and what appeared to be half the NYPD were watching them he kissed Liv firmly. "We're never letting go of him again." He whispered into her hair before releasing them both.

Olivia turned briefly to Fin, "You guys have this right?"

"I'm not sleeping until I have Cassidy's ass in a cell." He promised her.

"Olivia, you and Noah need to go, I will drive Barba behind you." Dodds reminded again.

"Let's go My Love." She told Noah as she climbed into the ambulance with him. The paramedic closed the door and the other one started the engine. They had just pulled onto the street when Liv heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire, she looked through the back window of the ambulance just in time to see Rafael fall to the ground.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Never Let Go

Chapter Four

"What's wrong Mommy?" Noah asked as he watched the color drain from his mother's face.

Liv swallowed back the sob trying to escape her lungs, "Everything is going to be fine My Love." She told Noah as she held him closer on the stretcher praying fervently that she was telling the truth.

When they arrived at the hospital they were quickly ushered to the pediatric area and Liv did her best to remain calm while she waited for news on Rafael and not let on to Noah that anything was wrong. She was immensely relieved when Lucy arrived.

"Amanda called me, I got here as soon as I could." She explained breathlessly quickly hugging Liv before turning to Noah. "Noah, Mommy has to go help Rafi with something and we're going to wait here for the doctor. Mommy will be back in a little while."

"Rafi says he's going to be my Papi forever, Lucy." The boy explained proudly.

"That's why we need to let Mommy go help, all right Noah?" Lucy asked.

"OK, Mommy you will come back soon?" He asked.

Liv hugged him tight, "Yes My Love, and I am just going to be down the hall."

A hospital volunteer returned with some toys for Noah and he seemed happily distracted Liv took off to the emergency room to find out news on Rafael. She was met by Chief Dodds and was once flooded with memories of Mike's death, and the sob she had been holding back finally found its way out.

"Is he alive?" She asked as she accepted the Chief's embrace.

"Yes, the bullet went straight through, but they've taken him back for exploratory surgery to check for damage." He explained.

"I need to call Lucia." Liv said fumbling for her phone.

"I already sent a uniform to her school. She should be here any minute." He assured her.

"Thank you Chief, did we get Cassidy?" She asked.

"Yes, it looks like he sustained some injuries trying to escape Fin and Carisi, but nothing too serious. He's getting checked out now, then we will get him in a cell. I promise you Liv, Brian Cassidy will spend the rest of his life in jail." Dodd told her.

"I will personally see to that." A familiar voice boomed from behind her. Liv turned and offered a tired smile to the District Attorney.

"Thank you Jack." She offered thankful for the man's presence.

"When this is over will you two just get married and stop making more work for my office?" He joked in the way only jack McCoy could at a time like this.

Liv felt a genuine smile cross her face, "Yes Sir, I think that sounds like a good plan."

Lucia arrived at the hospital a few minutes later and upon realizing she could not see her son she insisted upon waiting with her grandson. "I can do nothing for Rafi now, the least I can do is help Lucy with Nieto."

"Abuelitta!" Noah yelled when he saw her. Olivia smiled, Noah had taken to calling Lucia Grandma from almost the first time they had met. "Did you bring galletas?" He asked since Lucia always had cookies for him.

"Not this time Nieto, but maybe we can go home and bake some later." She told him.

Liv shuffled between the surgery waiting room and Noah's room while she waited on news of Rafael. When the doctors cleared Noah to leave it was decided Lucy and Lucia both would take him home.  
"I will drive everyone in this hospital crazy Hija, waiting on news you call me as soon as you hear something." Lucia told Liv.

Liv was comforted knowing that with Lucia and Lucy both at home with him Noah would hardly even miss her or Rafael. She helped them out of the hospital where an officer was waiting to take them home. She promised to call as soon as there was any word of Rafael and that the officer would wait to bring Lucia back to the hospital when she wanted. She was walking back into the hospital when she was stopped in her tracks as Brian was being brought out in a wheelchair, his leg in a cast, handcuffed surrounded by officers, Fin, and Carisi. She quickly studied his face and where bruises were already taking shape. She glanced at Fin's hands that wore knew bandages and remembered Dodds saying something about "Brian sustaining injuries while trying to escape."

"Hey Liv, how are you?" Brian asked as if nothing had happened and Carisi's hand quickly connected with the back of his head.

"Do not speak to her." Carisi said but Liv leaned in close to Brian placing her hands on the handles of the wheelchair. Her face inches from his she locked eyes with the man who had tried to destroy her family and lowered her voice.

"It's all right Carisi, let him talk all he wants. Let him tell you about how he wasn't man enough to support me through the worst time in my life. Let him tell you how he was relieved when he found out when I wasn't pregnant with his child. Let him tell you about how despite everything I have made a life better than I could have ever imagined if I had stayed with him. Let him tell you how he's going to spend the rest of his life in jail knowing that I have everything I have ever wanted without him. But first Brian, let me tell you that if you make me tell my son that his Papi isn't coming home to him that life of yours is going to be very short." She kept her eyes locked on him until she heard a voice calling her name.

"Olivia, the doctor is ready for you." Chief Dodds called from the doorway.

"Get him out of here." She told Carisi as she readied herself for what the doctor would say.

The doctor showed her into a small waiting area. "Mr. Barba was very lucky, the bullet did very little eternal damage. We were able to stop the bleeding. He's going to feel pretty sore for a while and need to take it easy but he should make a full recovery."

"Rafael take it easy." She couldn't help but laugh, "Thank you so much doctor, I need to call him mother, then can I see him?"

"Yes, of course, he will probably be asleep for a while but you can wait with him." He told her.

Liv called Lucia who said she would have the officer bring her down after she finished making dinner for Lucy and Noah. Liv smiled, Lucy was more than capable of making dinner but she knew it was part of how Lucia was coping with it all. Liv had a nurse show her to Rafael's room where she found him sleeping attached to monitors. She sat down beside his bed and took his hand. Sitting there watching him in silence except for the beeping monitors she finally let it all go. The tears she had been holding back ran down her face. Eventually she simply laid her head on his chest and let her tears fall on him until she heard his tired weak voice.

"No llorres mi amor." He whispered telling her to not cry.

"Rafa" She gasped as she placed her hand on his face and kissed him.

"Where's Noah?" He asked.

Olivia smiled at his immediate concern, "He's fine, at home with your mother and Lucy so he doesn't have a care in the world."

He smiled a little and nodded as the nurse and doctor both came in, "Glad to see that you are awake, but we really need for you to rest some more. Lieutenant Benson, his mother is here, they can visit for a few minutes then you all need to let him sleep and come back in the morning."

Liv nodded and kissed him again, "I am going to let your mom visit with you. I'm going to go home to Noah, I will be back in the morning."

Rafael's eyes were already starting to close but he grabbed her hand, "Tell Noah Papi loves him." He whispered. Olivia nodded and squeezed his hand before letting go, she quickly hugged Lucia before heading home.

It was almost lunchtime the next day before she got back to the hospital. Lucia had offered to go back early in the morning so that Liv could be home with Noah. She had spoken to the doctor and knew he was awake and feeling well. She was pleasantly surprised to see Jack McCoy leaving his room when she arrived.

"Take care of him Lieutenant." He said with a smile and he passed her.

"I plan on it." She answered as she entered his room relived to find him looking so much better than the previous night.

"Hi." She said somewhat nervously.

"Hi, yourself, are you going to come in and kiss me or are you going to make me get up?" He asked her with a smile.

She sauntered slightly to his bed hesitating just for a moment before placing her lips on his, she let out a gasp when he pulled her down on to the bed next to him.

"Rafa, be careful." She warned kissing him again before moving to the chair.

"I missed you last night." He complained.

"Our bed is lonely without you." She admitted. "Where is your mother?"

"She went to get some breakfast when Jack came." He explained.

"So how was Jack?" She asked, "Does he want you back at the office tomorrow?" She laughed.

Rafael smiled, "No apparently I have six weeks mandatory paid leave."

"Oh God, you are going to lose your mind, which means I am going to lose my mind." She laughed again.

"We could take a vacation." He suggested. "I know you have the time."  
Liv smiled at him, "I think we could arrange that."

"Or we could take a honeymoon." He offered waiting to see her reaction.

"A what?" She asked.

"Open the drawer, Liv." He said pointing to the nightstand.

Liv did as he said and immediately saw a small box sitting inside the drawer. "Open it." He prompted her gently.

She slowly opened the box to reveal a diamond ring, "It was my Abuletia's. I had my mother bring it this morning. Olivia please say you will marry me, as soon as possible, I don't want to wait." He pleaded.

Olivia pulled the ring from the box and held it out to him so he could place it on her finger, "Rafael Barba, I do not want to spend one more day than absolutely necessary as anything other than your wife."

Three weeks later they were watching Noah run head first towards the ocean as the sun was setting. Lucia and Lucy had both tried to talk them into leaving him at home but they wouldn't hear of it. They assured them they would take another trip alone soon but right now they all needed to be together. Rafael chased after him scooping him up in his arms with laugher as he carried him back to Olivia holding them both as they watched the waves knowing they would never let go of what they had.

The End


End file.
